The Other Side: So, can 100 men defeat a gorilla? | Opinion – Daily Republic

Kelvin Wade: The Other Side

Kelvin Wade: The Other Side
It’s all over social media and it’s too crazy and intriguing for me to pass up. Who would win in a fight between 100 average men and a gorilla?
First off, gorillas are formidable. Though we share 98.3% of DNA with gorillas, physically, we’re no match for them.
Eastern lowland silverback gorillas can stand up to 6 feet tall and weigh between 400 and 500 pounds. With very dense muscles, they’re incredibly strong, able to lift 1,800 pounds and have a punching force 2 1/2 times that of the hardest hitting elite heavyweight boxers. Their mighty jaws have a bite force of 1,300 pounds per square inch, which is more powerful than a lion.
Provided we could find 100 men with unsoiled trousers who are up for a battle against the most physically powerful primate on the planet, I think ultimately man wins this contest.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re envisioning men having their limbs ripped off, tossed through the air like rag dolls and chewed apart like something out of Hellraiser. It’s easy to envision a beaten, battered group of men yelling, “Run away!” like a Monty Python movie after a few rounds with a snarling silverback.
And that would happen if the men fought it one at a time. I always hate to watch a karate movie where the star takes on 20 men and they all approach him one at a time. C’mon, I could pick 19 guys off the street and we would kick Bruce Lee’s behind by attacking him all at once. Any single man trying to manhandle a gorilla is going to die or wish he was dead.
No, I think man would win this contest because even though we’re no physical match for a gorilla, we do have a brain three times the size of theirs. It’s our brains that make man the apex predator on this planet, not our brawn.
We know far more about gorillas than they know about us. We can formulate complex strategies and battle plans. While gorillas know how to use tools, they’re not as creative and cunning as man. Even without guns, we could improvise tactics to overwhelm it. And while gorillas are agile, strong and fierce, they will eventually tire. If 50 men can do the work of engaging the beast and tiring it out (even though we’d lose a substantial amount of people), additional waves of fresh fighters could eke out the victory.
Of course this presupposes that the men would work together. If they don’t, they will perish. That’s an interesting part of this thought exercise because we live in a current environment where cooperation among people isn’t a given. A certain percentage of the men would probably run away in terror. Perhaps some others will spread misinformation that gorillas aren’t that strong. Still others might disagree on what course of action to take and go it alone. The only way Kong goes down is if the 100 men are on the same page.
There was a famous gorilla named Bushman that lived most of his life at the Lincoln Park Zoo in Chicago. After his death in 1951, he was stuffed and put on display. Google the pictures of him. Just looking at a few of the photos of Bushman made it clear to me that I would not be one of those 100 men fighting a gorilla.
Tara Stoinski, president and CEO for the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund, even weighed in on this question saying she thought the men would prevail in this thought exercise because they would wear down the gorilla. But she also wanted people to know that gorillas are endangered gentle giants and would only be aggressive to protect their families.
Some have criticized the exercise for being textbook toxic masculinity. Whatever. I read one article where the writer pondered why there wasn’t a thought exercise about collaborating with a gorilla. What? Because that’s a lame thought exercise.
Thought exercises are supposed to be absurd. There was last year’s exercise asking women if they would rather encounter a bear or a man in the woods. Or there’s the classic, would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or one horse sized duck? Now that’s drama right there.
Or what about the snail exercise? It goes something like this: You receive $10 million, but in exchange there’s an indestructible snail following you for the rest of your life that knows your location at all times, can board a plane and if it touches you, you will die an agonizing death. Would you take the money?
Back to the gorilla: There are only about 320,000 gorillas in the world. There are only 1,000 mountain gorillas left. And since the mid-1990s, the eastern lowland gorilla population has declined by 77%, according to some studies.
Maybe a way to go beyond the silliness of this question is if after engaging with the thought exercise, people made a donation to something like www.gorillafund.org.
Thanks for indulging me. And I’d fight the horse-sized duck and take the $10 million. You’re not catching me snail. Peace.
Kelvin Wade, a writer and former Fairfield resident, lives in Sacramento. Reach him at kelvinjwade@outlook.com.
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“Some have criticized the exercise for being textbook toxic masculinity.“. That’s not quite an unrealistic notion, as toxic masculinity is a significant issue in our culture, with various manifestations and consequences.

BETA!!!!

Here’s one now.

😘

So, Trump is the gorilla…

🤣

Before I can answer I need to know your definition of a man.
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