Definitive answer to 100 men vs gorilla by top expert – and other matchups including Rhino – dailystar.co.uk

It’s official, the Daily Star has the answer we’ve all been looking for – who would actually win in a fight between 100 men and a gorilla?
We know, we know. Everyone thinks they ‘know the answer’ to this viral question, but the difference is, Dr Nicholas Newton-Fisher actually does.
The University of Kent academic is the editor for the journal Animal Behaviour, Senior Fellow of the Higher Education Academy, and a Fellow of the Royal Society of Biology. If anyone knows the answer, it’s him.
So who would win? The apex of the animal kingdom, or 100 jabbering, fearful, hairless morons stupid enough to take them on.
“Gorillas are generally placid and peaceful – and would seek to avoid a horde of people,” he said. “Indeed, the survival of gorillas as individuals and as a species is directly dependent on hordes of people not encroaching into their habitat.”
A fair disclaimer, but even an expert like Dr Newton-Fisher acknowledges there is more than one way this can go.
“In the fictional scenario, assuming there’s one large male gorilla and one hundred ordinary ‘average joe’ men, without weapons, there are two possible outcomes,” he explained.
“One is that the humans win through sheer weight of numbers and an exhausted gorilla.
“But this requires the human ‘team’ to accept high losses. Many of the initial attackers will likely be killed or severely wounded – and for that to happen, those attackers would need to be willing to sacrifice themselves.”
Bad news for those who like to get in the queue early then, but the sheer number of people would create a problem too.
Dr Newton-Fisher explained: “This creates what is known as a ‘collective action problem’ – each individual does better if others do the fighting and dying, and this undermines the ‘weight of numbers’ benefit.”
But this is nature, this wild and anything’s possible – including the gorilla doing a number of on the fleshy, weaponless hoard.
“The second outcome is that the gorilla wins,” he said, “due to (a) superior strength and weaponry (large canine teeth in a powerful jaw); (b) that only a few humans could reach the gorilla at any one time, so the excess numbers are unable to do anything except provide repeated waves of attack, and (c) because humans have a strong sense of self preservation and would encounter growing terror as they saw other people killed by the gorilla.”
Dr Newton-Fisher was backed into a corner to choose a winner on this. But in reality, he reckons the outcome would actually be far more anti-climatic.
“The gorilla thus has both physical and psychological advantages, but the most likely outcome would be the gorilla attempting to flee from the humans, killing any that drew too close, with the humans too scared – or with too strong a sense of self-preservation – to even try tackling the gorilla in the first place, each hoping someone else takes the risk.”
Gorillas have been getting the limelight recently, but Mother Nature has plenty more terrifying beasts out there. How would 100 unarmed fellas stack up against some of the meanest monsters she has to offer? We take a very (un)scientific look at other key matchups.
Weight : 300-800 kg
Primary weapon : Lethal teeth
Outcome : Polar bears can lift more than 200kg with a single paw, making every swipe capable of wiping out multiple blokes at once. They are clever, dexterous and fierce. They also have a bite of 1200psi – enough to crush a bowling ball – that’s 10 times stronger than a human’s. This, along with the collective action problem, means it's a bad day to be among the 100. POLAR BEAR WINS
Weight : 190kg
Primary weapon : Vicelike jaws with giant canines and scythe-like claws on the end of immensely-strong limbs
Outcome: The same collective action problem applies here with only 10 people at a time being able to get close. The difference to the gorilla, though, is that lions are more vulnerable to people getting behind it. If a bloke or two could get on its back, cling on and go for the eyes it could create an opening. MAN WINS (just)
Weight : 1,000kg – 2,300kg
Primary weapon : Trampling and enormous horn
Outcome : This one isn’t up for debate. Rhinos are the tanks of the wild and man’s fleshy little fingers couldn’t do anything to this monster's carapace. A single charge into the pack would send countless chaps flying and crush even more. Even getting on its back wouldn’t do much good. RHINO WINS

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